While perusing other blogs, I ran across a friend's comment which struck me. She spoke about how she will not apologize for being honest, even when it's messy and uncomfortable, for how else can the Body weep and rejoice with one another if Life always stays surfacy? I fell in love with this way of thinking during college, and it pains me that I have let it slip away.
For that is my heart's cry: deep and meaningful existence lived out alongside of others, and yet I see how much I live with an apology on either side of my shared reality. Which, if I'm honest, stems from a deep fear of rejection, coupled with my innate people-pleasing/never inconvenience others weakness. I have been redeemed, I am perfect in His eyes, I am set free from the law of sin and death, yet this season has been so muddled, that Truth has often been hard to hold on to.
Yes, these days I am rather chaotic, confused, uncertain, sad, angry, and hopeless, and I know it is not pleasant to constantly hear or be around such a melancholy heart... yet to those who know me...to those who know our Savior...I pray that I will be received with grace, so that, poured into, I may yet again pour out. someday. soon.
[hope.]
