http://www.tyndale.com/blog/?p=1042
I always love the hope of winning books :)
So, tis been a while, eh? ...and I must say, things are both settling in and winding up. I don't handle paradox's well. Or balance. Or keeping things in tension. Which, as most of the Good things in life are handled in such ways, often distresses my extremist nature.
Today was interesting in that I realized Disappointment is probably the thing I fear the most - whether cuz I am a disappointment, or in being disappointed in others. Some people take that fear and never hold expectations of anyone or anything, but I go to the opposite extreme.
I hold SO many expectations over myself, irrationally thinking that if I meet every possibly imagined one, then I'll never be a disappointment to anyone. And, likewise, if I hold people up to such unrealistic expectations, the disappointment is more familiar/less painful, for "how could they have done it anyways."
Like, *actually* being disappointed - by realistic expectations - terrifies me. Seriously, scared spit-less. "Gonna go buy some boots and tremble in them" scared. Not sure how to handle this revelation of my character, but the fist step is admitting it, eh? :)
::on my way to somewhere...hopefully closer to Jesus::
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